Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Too Much Information

Let's start off by saying that I work with the general public. They make it....interesting. There are days and days I could do without them. But there they are, in my face and on the phone. I've given you several examples over the years of some of the scintillating conversations I've had that leave me speechless and eager to share. Here is yet another....

Phone rings
Me: Town Hall.

Them: Yeah, I was in the bathroom and I may have missed a call from the police department. Could you tell them I'm out of the bathroom now?

Me: I'll let you tell them yourself. (transfers call)

It was really more than I needed to know. It was more than anyone needed to know.

And now for something completely different....
Knitting! Socks! Vest!

As temps reach over 90 again, these woollies will be safely tucked away awaiting their turn to jump into service.

If you're out there wondering what happened to the lace project, and I KNOW you're on the edge of your seat about it, not to worry. I've had no solitude time to become one with the next chart. I've got hopes for "don't bother me I'm counting" time this weekend. You'd just love my wildly exciting life, wouldn't you? All this sitting on my arse playing with string. At least I don't have to hear "I just got out of the bathroom..."

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Dangling Conversation

 (Location: my office)
Lady: I have a question and I don't know who to talk to. I want to know if there is town land available for a community garden.

Me: I..(cut off)

Lady: We used to have one at [location, private company] but they all of a sudden said we couldn't do it anymore.

Me: Well...(cut off)

Lady:Any of the private landowners we asked said no because they don't want strangers on their property.

Me: It could be an insurance issue. (she talked the whole time I was speaking.)

Lady: no, that's not the reason. (of course it isn't what was I thinking!) I don't know why they won't. (then how do you know it's not the reason?) Do you know of any town owned land?(yes, but I'm not telling you because I want you to leave my office. You've had your 15 seconds.)

Me: you could check with the assessors for town land. (Had to say it really fast. She's still talking. Waivers. what could be planted.)

Lady: oh, okay. 

Me: Down the hall.(Be gone with you.)

Just another one-sided conversation where I sit opening and closing my mouth like a bass trying to answer questions of a person who apparently already knows the answers but can't get enough of the sound of their own voice.

Then there's the arguer.
Him: I need to fill out an application to do some roofing. I have the permit application.

Me: umm, you don't want that one.
Him: I don't?
Me: no, that's a trench permit application. You need the building permit application.

Him: oh. (goes away to fill out application. Returns.) This isn't the right one.

Me: sure it is.

Him: I need one for roofing, this is for building.

Me: no that's the right one, roofing is on there.

Him: Well, other towns have a separate one for roofing.

Me: That's the only one we have. (we're not other towns dood.) The only other permit app is for woodstoves.

Him: Well that doesn't matter. (no kidding genius.) I'll get you my insurance number.

Me: great. (at this point the B.O. is getting to much for me to hold my breath much longer!)

Him: I'll have my office fax it.

Me: Super. (exhales as offending object leaves.)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

It's Come Down To This

What? Excuse me? You remember reading something in last year's incessant whining about how I was going to spin yarn when it became unreasonably warm and humid? Oh, I see. Well, I, uh, er, um...
See here's the thing. I do like spinning. My thumb that pinches the roving does not. The result is a very sore tendon. In other words, I pulled a hammy in my thumb and it put me on the disabled list for spinning until I can find a way to stop pinching it that way. Doesn't affect my knitting, sewing, beading and normal daily life. Just spinning. Yup, there's Blue Face Leicester sitting in a bag, half spun.
There is a shawl 3/4 done-too hot.
 There is a vest 7/8 done-too hot.
So I give you...

A sock. An object of wool that does not sit in a lump in my lap.

It's come down to socks. Socks and BBC dvd's from the library. I am watching BBC movies specifically to learn how to speak British. So many dialects. Quite.

Monday, July 19, 2010

More of The Same

Still sweating, still whining. Pumping up the economy by going out to eat. Yeah, just trying to do my part.
Meanwhile, back on the farm....

Some kind of tomato; I've lost track what variety.

Future 'maders.

It has rained but not enough.

The grass is burnt to a crisp.

But we're trying to keep cool.

As best we can.

Friday, July 16, 2010

What Was I Saying?

Did I say "measly 1-2 weeks" of hot, humid weather? Something has gone terribly wrong with the New England weather dial. The only folks enjoying this is the electric companies. You can hear them laughing maniacally and rubbing their greedy little hands at the thought of the money being owed to them by us sweaty patrons.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Can't Sleep

It's taking some serious reverse psychology on my part to get any sleep at all during this delightful heatwave. (See, I'm going for the power of positive thought.) I close my eyes and picture myself shoveling snow off the back steps and shaking the excess snow off the shrubbery at the front of the house. All the while I'm lying in bed sweating profusely after having taken a cool shower. I smell like baby powder. If this heatwave continues I'm going to need another container. All because I have an aversion to air conditioners. This, of course does not apply to the a/c in my office. HA! how hypercritical I am! The Man can pay for my comfort. If The Man were paying my electric bill during the measly 1 or 2 weeks we have these annoying heat waves I'd gladly accept the energy sucking, environmentally polluting contraption. Then there's my gripe about fans...there's just no pleasing me. Not after 4-5 days of 100 degree weather with blasted humidity.
On the knitting side--HA! What knitting? The best I can do is finished objects ready for action when the thermometer becomes reasonable.

GiNORMus buttons and I-cord.

Do you hear that? The schuss, schuss of nordic skiis along a wooded trail of packed snow....Excuse me, hallucination. Ahem, where were we?

And you are NOT going to believe this....

Chart A complete once through on Wendy Johnson's aka WendyKnits, Seriously Simple Shawl. Made even simpler by using worsted weight instead of fingering weight. It's like using jumbo Legos instead of regular Legos. Won't be as dainty but then, I wouldn't describe myself as dainty so this will work for me. I have to have COMPLETE SILENCE when working on this. Chart, counting, yarn overs, counting, repeats, BAH! There's been plenty of tinking but I do feel accomplished getting it this far. I also think it looks funny. Funny as in not quite right. It's the heavier yarn and the fact it's not blocked, it will be fine once the project is complete.

This little item....hoo, I'm reeeeaaaallllyyy liking this yarn. It's an alpaca merino blend with very subtle heather from Berrocco Ultra Alpaca in Cerulean (p.s. wrong, I don't know what color this is). I only bought 4 hanks so I designed a vest and cursed myself for not ponying up for 2 more hanks to put sleeves on this project.
I wish I could work on it without the yarn sticking to me because I. can't. stop. sweating.

"My belly is hot, would you point the fan at me please?"

Thursday, July 01, 2010


Have you noticed I changed the skin of my blog? I may go back to the editing department because it just isn't feeling like alpaca to me. I'll give it another week.

My world just hasn't been wrapped around knitting lately. One, it's been dastardly hot, as in, over 90 degrees and suffocating. Two, weddings and baby showers. Three, lovely dinners with old friends.

The hoodie is hanging over the chair ready to be blocked. You have no idea what hoodie looks like because I've been my cruel self and not shared. All you ever get is finished product. No in-process excitement. I just slam you with the end result. Trust me, I'm sparing you. The whining can at times be as unbearable as the humidity.

You ask if I knit baby items for these showers? No, I can't think of one person's baby shower I've been to that genuinely likes or appreciates hand knits in my circle. Yes, they ohh and ahh but do you ever see the stuff on the kid? Even I don't like some baby items. You know those long legging things? Blech. If I had a child I wouldn't put them on it hand knit or store bought. So there, I'm guilty of knit snobbery myself. Love little sweaters and hats, sacs and booties. And another thing I don't like? Knitted baby clothing in a weight heavier than sport. A worsted weight sweater on the poor babe makes their arms stick straight out because there's so much bulk they can't move. Can't be comfy. Just can't. Don't send hate mail- its just my blog my opinion.You can knit what you want in whatever weight you want.

I'm sure the other question your asking is, "Miss Sandra, have you knit any more on your Seriously Simple Shawl?" No. Though I did look at it. Baby steps, baby steps.

No, another time sucking project (non-knitting related) is consuming me. And that's all I can say. Let's just hope everything goes my way. There I go again, keeping you in the dark. Hehehehehehehe.